What To Do If Your Relationship Is Being Harmful Because Of Contempt



Contempt is one of the most toxic forms of communication that can lead to the end of a relationship. It usually manifests as the outcome of unresolved anger over time.


But, what is disdain, exactly? What harm may it cause your relationship?


What are your methods for sharing or processing anger with your partner? When one or both partners' anger is bottled up, contempt develops. Rather than expressing their anger or explaining why they are upset, they attack or undermine their partner.


Rather than communicating why they are upset, the partner resorts to using contempt as a weapon. Contempt makes the other person feel unimportant or unwanted by making them feel unimportant or unloved.


Such as:


"Hasn't your mother taught you how to look after yourself?"


"What's up with you? You're never on time."


"Have you forgotten that this restaurant is closed on Sundays?" Where has your mind gone?"


Contempt is a toxic mix of criticizing rhetoric that elevates one partner above the other. These remarks may make a spouse feel untrustworthy.


Contempt can also be expressed by body language, such as eye-rolling, disregarding the other, or shrugging away.


If this seems like something is going on in your relationship, it is time to address it! Every relationship has conflict, but nasty, critical statements like this can devastate a person's self-esteem and the relationship.


According to relationship experts at The Gottman Institute, the most common cause of divorce is contempt. It's a negative power move that makes the other partner feel inferior when it's used.


Contempt is the expression of superiority criticism. It's a level above reproach. Contempt manifests itself in remarks that make one spouse appear superior to the other.